Then I had Everton.
I mentioned in my first post that there is something about having a baby that rocks your world. Not just logistically speaking. I mean something inside of you that was hidden has now been unleashed. A hidden destiny of sorts.
In your eyes, a new path.
I had alllllll intentions if returning to work after having Everton and I tried. I really did. But, my heart was home and for good reason.
Before my momma died she told me that she regretted not being home more. She was making the big bucks but behind a chair 10-12 hours a day. My time spent with her was while she ironed clothes at night–I laid under the board. She told me (Jesus did too) that I needed to be a wife and mother. My career would always be there but my baby would not.
It worked out where I could be home. So, home I went.
I was trying my best to rock at this parent thing but let’s get real here…momming is hard. Everything up until now I had been taught how to do.
This is how you teach.
This is how you do hair.
We had a baby and had no idea how to even change a diaper. True story. Now, they’ve sent me home with this little dude and expect me to keep it together. Lord, Jesus imma need you for a minute.
Why was I doubting my ability as a mother? The Bible tells us that children are a GIFT and REWARD. Weeeellllll, what did I do to deserve all this?! The Creator of the Universe saw fit to give me a present…to entrust me with a sweet innocent life. Maybe He knows something I don’t? We’ll go with it, Jesus–take the wheel.
(I’m not discounting my husband. I’ll talk about him and all his fabulousness in another post–we’re momming it right now, remember?)
Here’s where the next turn in my journey comes in…who wants to guess what it’s about?! If you said “breastfeeding” you are totally right!
Breastfeeding–another way satan crept in to cause me to doubt my God given ability.
(I was told by “people who should know” *eye roll* that my baby was using me as a pacifier, I shouldn’t let him nurse longer than fifteen minutes because he’s just burning calories after that, but I needed to supplement because I clearly was not producing enough and my milk lacked what he needed.)
We made it eight months. Which was a far cry short of my twelve month goal. Formula is expensive y’all! I’m going to be real right here–I started breastfeeding not because “it was best” but because it was free. And, I didn’t love it all the time.
I decided, after all of the lies that the enemy was speaking over that situation, I didn’t want another mother–who chose to breastfeed–to go through what I went through. So, I became a Certified Lactation Counselor.
That’s where the Dairy Queen comes in.
As a CLC I cannot diagnose or prescribe. I can, however, help women combat fear through giving evidence based advice and encouragement. So, I tell ladies that they are “enough” from the comfort of my own home most often through text, calls, or messages.
There is a tremendous amount of adversity that comes against us women through the form of fear and discouragement because of comparison. But, the fact is, y’all, if we are doing this the best way we know how we’re showing out!
Maybe you aren’t a stay-at-home breastfeeding mom.
Maybe you use glass bottle or maybe your bottles are plastic.
Maybe you feed your child continuously throughout the night with a feeding tube.
Maybe you cloth diaper or maybe you don’t.
Maybe you homeschool or maybe your kids attend a private school a hour away.
Maybe your house stays spotless or maybe it’s like mine with a mountain of clean clothes fit for kid climbing hiding in the bedroom.
Maybe you have a disease that prevents you from doing everything you want to do for your family and you feel guilty about it(stop).
Maybe you are “just tired”.
Maybe your house is full or maybe you are praying for another blessing.
Maybe you are furthering your education to pursue your dreams or maybe you’ve given up on dreaming (don’t).
Maybe your kids eat gluten free organic stuff or maybe everything you have in your house is full of Red 40.
Maybe you wear makeup to pump gas or maybe you never pump your own gas.
Maybe your husband is a big help or maybe he’s not and it’s hard for you.
Maybe your kids have never seen a television or maybe–juuuust maybe–that Peppa Pig marathon is how you keep yourself together.
Maybe you’re half way through your Pinterest craft to do list or maybe you deleted the Pinterest app because it makes you feel awful about hiding the crayons and Playdoh.
Can we agree that we are all unique and equally rocking this mom thing?! Yes? Ok then.
Please! After reading this find a fellow momma and tell her what an awesome job she is doing. Here, I’ll start–
I had you on my mind while writing this post. I just wanted to say that you are doing an AMAZING job. I know so very well how things can be overwhelming but the fact is that YOU WERE CREATED for this. I’m praying for an extra measure of favor, grace, and goodness to be poured over your life today! I’m also praying for healing wherever you need it and prosperity for you and your family. Oh, and sweet sleep and no whining…in Jesus name!
“I took my troubles to the LORD; I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer.”
Psalms 120:1 NLT